


Conversations with the Crows

by kingozma



Category: Shovel Knight
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Canon Het Relationship, Depressed Witches Who Think His Shyness Is Disgust, F/M, Isolation, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Self-Hatred, Shyness, Small Bird Knights With Borderline Traits And An Inferiority Complex, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 02:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11326383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingozma/pseuds/kingozma
Summary: Some Het Is Good! [alternate title: Distortions]





	1. His

I remember she was leaning against the bookshelf when she asked, looking bitterly cool and unaffected.

“So… What, do you just, like, wear that mask to sleep?”

Ohhhhohoho, boy. I knew what was coming. No matter how much that other voice in my head tried to tell me “Stop it, she’s not asking because she wants to see YOUR ugly mug,” I knew what she was really trying to say.

I turned around to face her at as natural a pace my tiny, excitable little body could manage, unable to choke back a shrill little squawk - but it was fine, little losses are only to be expected alongside victories! I stood a little taller, and a nervous giggle pushed through my closed throat, resulting in some kind of hideous choking noise. “Sorry,” I said, apologizing like I do far too many times around her, “Come again?”

She rolled her eyes at me. That much I could see. I was already mucking up this hundredth impression, I could tell by the way she spoke, “No, I mean, I just never see you with the mask off. Has _anyone_ ever seen your face?”

I don’t know what to say! I could see it coming, but that really caught me off guard. It took me a second to figure out exactly how I was going to dig my way out of this (eventually, I always do), but as soon as I found a believable excuse I clung to it.

I shook my head slowly, saying“Mona, Mona, Mona… Can’t you see the many benefits to keeping my face concealed? Minimizes the risk of facial damage or burns, prevents my foes from being able to recognize me without it in a crowd–”

“But you never go without it,” She said, interrupting me with an incredibly skeptical look on her face. Shit.

Well, you’ve gotta admit when you’ve lost. But you don’t have to show any more of your hand than your opponent’s already seen, right?

… Why was I thinking of her as my opponent at that moment? She was my partner in crime, wasn’t she?

“True. Very true,” I said, nodding, “But it gives me the option to blend in should I need it. I think of it somewhat as a disguise, hee hee!”

“What, your mask or your actual face?”

I had never seen Mona look so bored in all my life.

“My actual face, of course!” I replied, letting my chest puff out a bit, “It’s something I can throw on if I ever need it, that’s all. Plus, you’re going to tell me it DOESN’T look cool?”

Maybe if I just brewed confidence like I brew my potions, she would be convinced.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she laughed, rolling her eyes in a way that told me she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at a dork like me, “But… I dunno, I was just curious. Like, why I’ve never seen your face, is all. I thought maybe you had some kind of, like, deep-seated insecurity over it or some kind of freaky disfigurement situation going on, and you just didn’t want people to know, but I guess all that makes sense.”

Something about that spiel hit me hard. Not hard enough to knock me down, but I definitely felt like I was wobbling. What was I supposed to say to that? Of course I don’t want her to see my face, I know I’m not a handsome-looking guy. My face is all pudgy, my nose looks weird and bulbous like a malignant growth, I’ve always got these dark bags under my eyes, it’s… It’s not a pretty sight. She doesn’t need to see that. Of all things, that would probably be the last nail in the coffin of her ever being able to maybe love me.

“Don’t be absurd,” I said, recovering with a little bit of gloating. “Hee hee… There’s always the risk of hurting myself with my work, but that’s why I wear this mask! I’ve gone unscathed by chemicals yet, I don’t plan on letting that change any time soon!”

That seemed to work just fine, because it was true! I wasn’t some amateur nerd who didn’t know what he was doing! Even if it is ugly, my face, unlike my pallid, dried-out corpse hands and arms, is wholly unscarred.

… So why was she making that face like I just said something hurtful? I wasn’t– trying to hurt her, did I make her feel like she was my inferior in some way! She– she should know she isn’t, right? Hhhrrn…

Was she… _Worried_ about me?

God. No. That’s stupid.

… But… Just in case she was…

“And hey, I mean it’s not like that other thing is true either! Hee hee hee, you don’t need to worry so much about me.”

I swear, I have no idea how this came out. But what I said next was:

**“People will get the wrong idea about us, won’t they?”**

Ohhhhh boy. Okay. Abort mission. Abort, abort, abort. That look on her face was positively horrified - disgusted, even. That comment was inappropriate. Oh God. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Please forgive me. I can be better.

I can’t imagine a worse insult to a woman like Mona than to imply she would ever be interested in a hideous wretch like me.

She graced me with a shrug and a nonchalant “Well, if you’re so sure.”

… And in another moment, she added “But, you know, you might want someone who recognizes you by your face. Y’know, with the whole ‘disguise’ thing, right?”

Yes. There were air-quotes. God, I felt like I was gonna die.

“You’ll want somebody to check in with about whatever’s going on, and you know I can always hide you. So… I’m just saying, if there was anyone to show that face to… It would be me.”

I.

Wh.

Why? Why would that be her? What was she trying to say? She couldn’t see it, but I went even paler under the safety of my mask. Why her? Why would she be the one who would have to put up with this face?

Haven’t I burdened her enough today?

I couldn’t stop shaking. I hope she didn’t see, but I’m sure she did.

So I… Did the only thing I knew I could do right every time.

I cut my losses and I ran away.

“Hee… You know, you’re right! I’ll have to think about that,” I said, grinning so hard my face hurt. I knew she couldn’t see it. But if I was smiling, maybe I was alright. “Eh– maybe not right this second. You see, I have a very important date with our blue friend!”

Technically, that wasn’t a lie. Technically, I told the truth. I did figure I would run into Shovel Knight at some point in the next few days, it was inevitable given we were traveling the same path.

To seem personable and polite, I added, “Maybe another time!”

And I ran out the door at a healthy jogging pace– Ah, who am I kidding? I really did run away. Noticeably, I ran.

Because what I really meant was ‘Maybe never.’ What I really meant was ‘No, you really don’t want that. You think you do, but you don’t know what you’re getting into.’

What I really meant was ‘God, think about this. Please, think long and hard about this. You’ll come to the right conclusion eventually, that you really don’t need to give yourself such revolting nightmares by looking straight into my colorless, black, bloodshot eyes.’

What I really meant was ‘Please. Please let me protect you from me. You’ll thank me, you just don’t realize it yet.’

… I don’t even know where to begin. Why are there so many things _wrong_ with me?


	2. Hers

I remember I was leaning against the bookshelf when I asked, because I wanted to look just as cool and unaffected as I wanted to feel on the inside.

“So… What, do you just, like, wear that mask to sleep?”

That made him turn to me a little too fast, and something like a songbird’s warble peeked out of his throat. He laughed that ridiculous, kinda annoying laugh of his and replied with another question, “Sorry - come again?”

But I kept smiling, I rolled my eyes a little and said, “No, I mean, I just never see you with the mask off. Has _anyone_ ever seen your face?”

Plague Knight skipped a beat, I noticed, but recovered without wasting another second.

“Mona, Mona, Mona… Can’t you see the many benefits to keeping my face concealed? Minimizes the risk of facial damage or burns, prevents my foes from being able to recognize me without it in a crowd–”

“But you never go without it,” I cut in, quirking one brow.

And he cut back in, saying “True. Very true. But it gives me the option to blend in should I need it. I think of it somewhat as a disguise, hee hee!”

“What, your mask or your actual face?” I was gonna mention that at his stature, I don’t think he’s too hard to pick out in a crowd, but I held my tongue. Some blows are a little too low. Just like he’s a little too low to the floor. Hehe. God– Okay, I’ll stop. Anyway.

“My actual face, of course!” He said, seeming oddly proud of himself. “It’s something I can throw on if I ever need it, that’s all. Plus, you’re going to tell me it DOESN’T look cool?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I laughed, my eyes immediately rolling - affectionately, did he know it was affectionately? “But… I dunno, I was just curious. Like, why I’ve never seen your face, is all. I thought maybe you had some kind of, like, deep-seated insecurity over it or some kind of freaky disfigurement situation going on, and you just didn’t want people to know, but I guess all that makes sense.”

He paused long enough to blink, and giggled along with me. “Don’t be absurd. There’s always the risk of hurting myself with my work, but that’s why I wear this mask! I’ve gone unscathed by chemicals yet, I don’t plan on letting that change any time soon!”

I paused, too. And my smile faded.

“And– I mean,” he stammered, “It’s not like that other thing is true either! Hee–hee hee, you don’t need to worry so much about me. People will get the wrong idea about us, won’t they?”

I knew he was kidding, but my heart fluttered so violently I felt myself jolt. God, I really hope he didn’t see that look on my face. I didn’t see it either, no mirrors around or anything - but I felt it. And– this sounds stupid, but it felt like love.

Or terror. Same thing. Yeah– see, if he saw that expression on my face, he’d probably think I was worried by the notion. Somebody actually thinking Plague Knight and I were an item? Egads, what a _nightmare._

… Yeah.

Whatever, like, the moment didn’t last that long, I shot back within the socially acceptable second or two you’re allowed when someone says something like that, something like “Well, if you’re so sure,” and a shrug.

… And then I said, “But, you know, you might want someone who recognizes you by your face. Y’know, with the whole ‘disguise’ thing, right? You’ll want somebody to check in with about whatever’s going on, and you know I can always hide you. So… I’m just saying, if there was anyone to show that face to… It would be me.”

I swear to God, I think I saw his legs tremble where he stood. I couldn’t tell for sure, but that’s what it sure looked like for a second. Not like, spasming or anything, just… Little jittering. Don’t ask why I was staring at his legs.

“Hee… You know, you’re right! I’ll have to think about that,” he said, and I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was grinning way too hard under that bird skull on his head. “Eh– maybe not right this second. You see, I have a very important date with our blue friend!”

And then he said, “Maybe another time!” as he dashed out the door. And somehow I could tell he meant ‘Maybe never.’

… Is it something wrong with _me?_


End file.
